The Last Straw

You know when you reach that point, when you think "why do I even bother?", well, today I reached that point. Today really was the last straw. All week my anxiety has been at a high, no idea why, but it's been there eating away at me. Then this morning when I whipped my beautiful Canon EOS 600d to start a long overdue vlog (we took Darcie to do her first Park Run this morning and we were all excited to capture that moment), only to realise it was broken. I then just broke down. That's right, I cried, like my three year old daughter did over her beloved AppleJack pony that got a tear. My husband officially thought I had gone bonkers. 

All week my camera had been acting strange. Not turning off when I had pressed the "off" button and then not switching to display mode. I knew it was on it's last legs. It was almost four years old and has been well loved, but today it went to camera heaven. I'm more annoyed with myself, because I have realised why it's broken. Last weekend we got caught out in a rain shower and whilst I had pegged it to seek shelter (must of been out in it for 30 seconds) it got completely soaked. I don't know why I didn't think much about it at the time. But now I'm paying the price.

Things like this always seem to happen at the worst possible time, but I guess that's life. This afternoon after spending most of the day moping around when I should have been enjoying the glorious sunshine I was cleaning (and moping) and the sun shined through our kitchen window and lit up our table where my two beautiful children sat. Darcie was making Henry giggle and their laughter was infectious. I quickly pulled myself together and stopped stressing over something so silly and my anxiety halved instantly. My children always seem to have that ability, bring me back to reality in an instant. They really are a blessing.

So with a readjusted attitude, I have been slightly more proactive this evening. Researching new camera's and working out how I will fund it,  I think I have come up with a plan! I'm looking into getting the Canon 750d (so if you have that model, I would love to know your thoughts!) it looks really good, slightly better quality, better features when filming (which is fab as I'm trying to grow my YouTube Channel) and an added Wi-Fi capability which is going to be great for posting on Instagram! So even though I'm sad that my camera that gave me my love for photography is now gone, I'm looking forward to improving my abilities further with a new piece of kit. A silver lining I guess.

Not only this, but I feel like I have a new outlook on the blog. The thought of not being able to blog to the best of my possible ability really struck me. It made me realise just how important this little space of the internet is to me. So, along with looking at new equipment, I write down a rough business/blog plan. Where I want it to go, how I can improve it further. Perhaps this was the kick up the backside I needed to re-ignite my passion for blogging.

So, next week, there will be no more stressing. What's the point? When silly little things come along to test you, it's better to come up with a solution than feel sorry for yourself. So, Monday morning, I'm ready for you.

Mummy B xoxox